A quick dip
I have not posted for a full calendar month - the month of July! Unprecedented, unbelievable, unforgivable! My birthday month, no less. But I was away on my whirlwind holiday with neither time nor wish to think. I wanted a proper break from the regular world, responsibilities, patterns, behaviour...
It was a good break. I came back to work very jetlagged, yet with more enthusiasm and energy than I had felt in months! It was probably due to the fact that I was still drug-high on the adrenaline of scuba diving (more waxing lyrical about that another time, promise!). I spent so much time bouncing around, almost buzzing with repressed excitement, and searching the web for my next potential dive course, trip, sites... and surprising too, my lightness was due to the fact that the French girl and Dutch boy were not around. It's funny how, although I'm really fond of them, it's still nice to have a kind of psychological/psychic breathing space around me that is uplifting. And of course, the fact that Cavé is not around. Again, funny that someone I'm so deeply fond of oppresses (yes, oppresses!) me mentally. I guess it was just the fact that it was the norm, routine had become a rut, and the daily humdrum were steel bands that bound me tightly so I couldn't breathe.
I return renewed, refreshed, reinvigorated! (and repetitive and alliterative too)
I'm in a slight flurry of activity, trying to organise my life. I finally did a bit more desktop research into the possibility of buying a place (now that I'm not paralysed by fear, enervation, and depression) and the shock of the potential monthly mortgage payments floored me. I'm thinking I'll have to subsist of Jacob crackers like I did for several months during my A-level days when I was flat broke.
The scary thought of being a life-long tenant or worse - a potential homeless hobo once my banking days are up, after being chewed up and spat out old, decrepit, broken at a prematurely-aged 35 - propelled me into action. I finally actually came up with a weekly budget and a not-too-onerous system of expenditure tracking that I have the slightest whisper of a hope of sustaining. Funnily enough, I hate the idea of budgets and expenses, and hate the necessity of it. I prefer earning a decent amount of money and relying on my general common sense approach to spending money to keep me within my financial limit. But alas! the level of financial commitment required for buying a property (and it seems everyone is buying!) and driven me to the desperate measure of budgeting!
I'll crash now, and write more on the weekend.
It was a good break. I came back to work very jetlagged, yet with more enthusiasm and energy than I had felt in months! It was probably due to the fact that I was still drug-high on the adrenaline of scuba diving (more waxing lyrical about that another time, promise!). I spent so much time bouncing around, almost buzzing with repressed excitement, and searching the web for my next potential dive course, trip, sites... and surprising too, my lightness was due to the fact that the French girl and Dutch boy were not around. It's funny how, although I'm really fond of them, it's still nice to have a kind of psychological/psychic breathing space around me that is uplifting. And of course, the fact that Cavé is not around. Again, funny that someone I'm so deeply fond of oppresses (yes, oppresses!) me mentally. I guess it was just the fact that it was the norm, routine had become a rut, and the daily humdrum were steel bands that bound me tightly so I couldn't breathe.
I return renewed, refreshed, reinvigorated! (and repetitive and alliterative too)
I'm in a slight flurry of activity, trying to organise my life. I finally did a bit more desktop research into the possibility of buying a place (now that I'm not paralysed by fear, enervation, and depression) and the shock of the potential monthly mortgage payments floored me. I'm thinking I'll have to subsist of Jacob crackers like I did for several months during my A-level days when I was flat broke.
The scary thought of being a life-long tenant or worse - a potential homeless hobo once my banking days are up, after being chewed up and spat out old, decrepit, broken at a prematurely-aged 35 - propelled me into action. I finally actually came up with a weekly budget and a not-too-onerous system of expenditure tracking that I have the slightest whisper of a hope of sustaining. Funnily enough, I hate the idea of budgets and expenses, and hate the necessity of it. I prefer earning a decent amount of money and relying on my general common sense approach to spending money to keep me within my financial limit. But alas! the level of financial commitment required for buying a property (and it seems everyone is buying!) and driven me to the desperate measure of budgeting!
I'll crash now, and write more on the weekend.
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